Over the last couple of posts you probably get the sense that I have gone through a lot in life lately. However, to the outside observer I am just a happy-go-lucky guy marching through his life. So the question may beg- how do you not let life beat you down? Or, how do you shake off the garbage and keep your head held high? Well, the answer is simple: Know your Calling, your Why, your Bliss.
*For purposes of clarity I will only use Why going forward. However, Calling, Why, and Bliss are all interchangeable.
This year I have written a few of posts that speak to cultivating an unbeatable attitude in life:
- Never Tip the King– This post is about getting tough on the inside. Fighting back the world and reclaiming control.
- Unplug: Be Your Own Compass– This post maps out common distractions and helps the reader get back to their Why.
- Strengthen Your Values & Meaning (3 Smart but Uncomfortable Angles)– This post is about managing the self through conflict, shame, and limitations.
While I enjoy these posts, there is one thing they do not assist with: Helping someone find their Why.
I see so many people running off to go achieve their way through life and yet they don’t have an internal guiding system. It is similar to a person stepping on the gas to a car but without any control of the steering wheel. Inevitably they crash. Or, we could say that they are forever lost since they do not have any idea where they are going.
Knowing your Why will anchor you in your life, will provide unlimited inspiration, and help keep you afloat when all seems lost.
The Why is bigger than the self. It extends beyond ego and guides us along like a GPS even when we try to fight it. Which leads me to a profound truth I have come to realize as I got older:
The life of just personal achievement eventually leads to hollowness.
Perhaps, like me, at times you have had days where you ask: What is the point of it all? Is this all there is? I thought once I hit my goals I would be happy but I am not.….
Maybe you don’t know your Why or perhaps you have a sense of what it is but have not defined it. Below are the three questions to answer which will put you on the right path of cultivating (drawing out) your Why.
- What is it that you most enjoy? List out activities that continually bring you the most joy. What are those things that you do that make your heart sing? These are the things you wake up early on the weekend for…or the things you would do for the sake of doing them because they excite you.
- What is it that you are naturally good at? List out all of your natural talents or things that have always just come to you. We all have talents. Study yourself and jot down your abilities you naturally excel at. What are your super powers?
- How can I be of service to the world? Using the answers from the first two questions start to connect the dots on how to provide value to others. This question is the binding agent for your Why. It is critical to be of service or you will end up in The Meaningless Hollow*.
As an example of how this works, let’s examine how mine was unearthed (this is very high level but at least we can get a sense of the process).
What do I most enjoy? I love working, laughing, and connecting with others. My life is about play even when I am working. I find the most joy when I am sharing and listening to life experiences. I love inspiring smiles in others and helping them feel significant.
What am I naturally good at? Sports of any kind. Yet if I dig a little deeper, I have this uncanny ability to see the larger picture, game plan, and figure out a way to win. I love studying strategy. Even when all seems lost I can figure out how to get to the finish line first. To me, everything is just a puzzle to figure out. Yet, even when I don’t win I come back stronger, smarter, and more confident.
How can I be of service? I have gone through a lot of hard times in my life (like everyone) and have landed on my feet. I can connect and teach others how to define their values and goals. Then I can help them strategize and figure out a game plan to live their best life. By connecting authentically, I can inspire others to stand up and kick some ass! (By kicking ass, I mean own your life and put in the work. There are no victims)
This example illustrates why Be A Champion Dad is in existence. The Champ Dad site is devoted to helping dads (others) navigate their chaotic life. It aims to assist all dads declutter their mind, sharpen their dreams, and live the life they envision in their heart.
I cannot stress the importance of uncovering your calling. Once it is unearthed you will have an inexhaustible light to follow through good and bad times. You will always have wind in your sails even on the days where you just want to sleep the day away.
Answer the questions and get on with living your bliss. There is nothing greater!
*The Meaningless Hollow: A trapped and fearful state of mind. A mind that is imprisoned by obligations and expectations of others. A depressed state where personal achievement no longer can cover up the void within one’s heart.
Photo by Ambir Tolang via Unsplash