The Balance: Authenticity and Belonging

Today’s post is really just the tip of a large iceberg (called Wellness) that we will uncover in the coming weeks. Hopefully, these words will give you some great triggering thoughts on how to adjust your home environment to maximize your family’s wellness potential.

As a dad, I find myself trying balance out my household everyday. My Goal is that everyone is operating in a state of wellness and not fear. A household that operates in full wellness is one that is functioning with authenticity while providing feelings of belonging. What does this mean? It means that the household’s environment ensures everyone’s needs are met and they are safe to be their authentic self.

Easy enough, right? I wish, but being authentic and feeling that you belong often run in different directions!

My whole life has been friction between these two dichotomies. 44 years of trying to fit in (seeking belonging/significance) while also trying to be who I naturally am (emerging authenticity). Do you see the rub?

All people will gravitate to where they feel most significant. Humans are tribal animals and are wired this way. It is our natural survival mechanism to seek belonging. Belonging happens in many ways good and bad (loving empathy, conformity, acceptance, fitting in, or sharing of similar thoughts/values).

Authenticity on the other hand stands firm and declares: “This is who I am!” Every time someone placates, pleases, or conforms they are (on some level) betraying their authenticity.

I am a firm believer that authenticity in every moment should be the true goal of everyone’s life. As parents, our over arching goal is to foster the emergence of authenticity in our children. Moreover, there is only ever going to be one us so it is our job to fully express this unique identity to the world…conformity at its worst is a life wasted.

But our basic need is Belonging….

So how do we get these two ideals to play together?

Acceptance and celebration of our diversities.

A strong and healthy household is one that creates a culture that accepts the uniqueness of the individuals that occupy it. When this happens, members no longer seek to conform and can allow their authenticity to emerge.

Home environments where acceptance and differences are celebrated become safe spaces for all members to operate in. Wellness takes root and thrives. Children develop well adjusted and parents can hold their head high.

Next week I will dig into identifying the elements of a great family culture and how to create a wellness culture for your home.

But in the meantime, I would like you to think about the following questions:

Are differences celebrated in your home or does everyone try to change (mold) each other into their version of right?

What is your current family culture and how would you like to see it change?

Have a great week and share if this post has helped you.

Be well

-MJ

Photo by Max Goncharov via Unsplash

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.