In last week’s post we touched upon wellness and creating a home environment where everybody’s needs are met. We specifically pointed out the friction between the sense of belonging and authenticity. To this point, we reviewed the slippery slope where people begin to chose the comfort of conformity over a sense of authenticity.
Over the next 4 weeks we will dig into the steps of creating a Champion Family culture; a wellness culture that supports authenticity while providing belonging to the individuals. There are 4 steps that we will discuss (one step per week) and they are:
- Identifying and defining the values of the household
- Discovering our own personalities. What is our natural strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies.
- Understanding your personality in a relationship to other personalities in the house and reviewing strategies to strengthen those relationships.
- Adjusting the environments to support the values and the uniqueness of the family
Wikipedia has a great definition of culture but for our purposes we will define culture as the social behavior, knowledge, beliefs, customs, capabilities, traditions, and habits of the individuals of the house.
Values: The importance of identification and defining
“Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave’em all over everything you do.” –Elvis Presley
I love the above quote from Elvis but I would even take it a step further. Just like fingerprints most people are not even aware that they are leaving them around. Whether you are aware of them or not, you and everyone in life has values and they are on full display to be observed. Some values are easy to identify (trust and honest communication) while others we have no clue that they exist (needing the latest smartphone or technology). To this end, it is really important periodically stop and question what our values are. If we don’t do this our values will be formed through our surrounding culture, environment, and other people. Personally, I like to have a greater sense of autonomy and don’t want others to shape what I find most important.
Once we have identified our values we can start to clean them up and provide a meaningful definition for them. By doing this we can see what values are truly important, what values are minor, and what values get in the way of a household of wellness. From our defined values we can now align our daily actions to these values. Your values will serve as your North Star in everything that you do.
Exercise: Over the next week set aside a half hour and write out what is truly important in your life. You might write down things like I value trust, affection, quiet time, quality time with family, or family dinners every night. Your focus should be on what you would like your ideal household environment to be.
A little trick to uncover your hidden values (blind guiding forces), take a few moments to analyze behaviors that trigger you emotionally. Strong emotional reactions often happen when a value has been violated.
Once you have a good list going rank them by importance. In this second step we are looking to find two or three that we can build around. What values are the most important to you and your uniqueness? Then work this list over with your significant other to find agreement on your guiding values.
The final step is to try to work out a statement that encompasses what your household stands for. An example might sound something like this: “Our household is place where love is given freely. We cherish quality time together where we can share (and listen) to each others daily adventures. We always support each other even when we might not always agree.”
Identifying and defining values can be an eye opening exercise. Be open and honest with yourself when doing the exercise. Also, do not judge what you may find. Remember we are only uncovering here…not defending how we conduct our lives currently. We are looking to find the best values and eliminate the ones that are getting in the way.
Next week will will post up the frame work of personalities so we can begin to better understand ourselves.
Photo by Tyler Nix via Unsplash